Celebrity Porn Names: Choosing a Porn Name

Just the Tip...
Welcome to our little blog. Although this is not a pornography website (sorry), it does feature some entertaining adult subject matters.

Many hours of research have gone into each entry, and all of our historical references, snarky though they may be, are factual.

It is sfw but will undoubtedly show up as nsfw if you are viewing this at your job. But trust us, it is sfw. Although jbsfw (just barely safe for work). And some of our Hook Ups! are pnsfwaa (probably not safe for work at all). eylacpn (enjoy yourself while looking at CPN)!
Foreplay
Throughout history mankind has been fascinated with the inner workings of their fellow woman / man / centaur. From reading tea leaves and bones to palms and the bumps on a face, sages have used these and other techniques to discover deep personality traits and tendencies.

Now in the 21st century new and exciting advances have been made in this field. Knowing a person’s Porn Name can tell you a potential partner’s deepest darkest feelings, religious beliefs, and possibly their credit rating.

“I can’t imagine even voting for someone without knowing their Porn Name.” (Possibly said by Joe Lieberman’s mom)
The Joy of Guidelines
Our crack team of research assistants paid for by a government grant for “The Effects of High-Speed Porn Downloads on a Crack Team of Research Assistants”, came up with the following guidelines for determining your Porn Name.

1. Name of your first pet + The first street on which you lived or grew up.
If the street has more than one word, use the first word.
If the street is a number, go to rule #2.

2. Name of your first pet + Your Mother’s maiden name. (Disclaimer: If you are using your mother’s maiden name as a bank password, you are an idiot. Oh yeah, sexist too.)

3. Your middle name (if there is no pet) + The first street on which you lived or grew up.

All other rules have been deemed useless, even stupid. That being said we have listed these criteria under the yet-to-be-written catagory entitled: “Other Stupid Guidelines.”
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Behind Closed Doors...(Don't you wanna know about the creators of CPN?)
SUZAN AVERITT is known through out the Land of LA as a performance artist/actor and writer/director, and has appeared nude and nearly nude in many books, paintings, films and on TV. Yes, Virginia, SAG pays you extra if you strip. Take that, Mr. Meisner! She also created and taught Acting for Animation at all the major studios. While working on her epic plays about Tesla and Edna St. Vincent Millay, Suzan suddenly had a yearning to know the origin of celebrity’s porn names. That seemed more doable, so here we are..

JEFF PETERS is a musician, actor, voice-over artist, writer, and is adept at all aspects of audio and video production. In other words, he has a short attention span and can’t hold a job. Jeff resides in the beautiful San Fernando Valley (Home of the Porn Industry) where he pursues and achieves.

VICTOR SONORA began his art career as a young boy sketching his friends on the mean streets of Valencia, CA. Later he became a character artist in the mean theme park of Six Flags Magic Mountain. Victor is also developing a series of art focused on conflict and fear...or is it... fear and conflict...maybe he's just afraid of conflict?
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Celebrity Porn Names: Choosing a Porn Name

Choosing a Porn Name

Porn Names are scientifically structured to give you the most accurate and legal rendition of your new moniker.

Do not randomly choose your Porn Name, or the results could be a lackluster name, as well as career that will follow you the rest of your 'Adult' life. It will go on your permanent record.

Watch this example from "Zach & Mira make a Porno" to learn from other people's mistakes.